By Kauʻi Aguiar
I have had the immense honor and privilege of being able to work in Papahānaumokuākea with the Papahānaumokuākea Marine Debris Project since the summer of 2023. I am deeply grateful for the time I have spent there because every experience I have had in Pō has brought me closer to myself and, ultimately, closer to my home and my kūpuna.
It may sound cliché, but I feel as though I carry this place within me now. Everywhere I go, I experience the world differently because of my time in Papahānaumokuākea. It has changed the way I see, the way I listen, and the way I understand my relationship to ʻāina and my heritage. In September, I will be going on my ninth mission and am very eager to get back to Pō.
There is a palpable shift in ʻano the moment you cross Ke Ala Polohiwa a Kāne. The clouds are bigger and bolder. The water is sweeter and brighter. We commune with mōlī and ʻiwa and watch as they raise their young and those young learn to fly.
As we swim the reefs, giant ulua come to inspect our alien frames clumsily splashing, reminding us we are not alone. We’ve seen monk seals wean their pups, fight for dominance, or, more often, rub their sandy bellies as they warm themselves on shore. Every return deepens my appreciation and understanding of the sanctity of this place and the kuleana I have to it.
In my first year working in Papahānaumokuākea, I was so excited but also incredibly nervous. I was constantly thinking and then overthinking. I found myself reflecting a lot on what it meant to be there for me, for my coworkers, and the loved ones we represented.
More than anything, I thought about my kūpuna. I wondered if they could see me and if they were proud to see me giving back to our home. I wondered if they laughed when I laughed and if they cried when they saw me cry. In those quiet contemplative moments, surrounded by a place that had sustained generations before me, I felt closer to them than I ever had before.
Through my time in this sanctuary, I have become more confident not only in my abilities as a diver and marine debris technician but also in my identity as a Kanaka ʻŌiwi. The experiences I have had there have strengthened my relationship with where I come from and the kuleana I carry, both in Pō and at home on Hawaiʻi Island.
Papahānaumokuākea has taught me how to find peace in times of turmoil and to reach for my voice even when it is difficult. I am grateful for this place, and for the ways it continues to shape and reshape who I am. It has shown me how to move through the world with greater humility and curiosity. I hope to remember the lessons I have learned, hold them close, and to carry them with me always.
Kauʻi Aguiar is a Big Island girl, born and raised. She is very proud of where she comes from and wants to spend her life giving back to her home and community in any way she can. Kauʻi is a marine debris technician with the Papahānaumokuākea Marine Debris Project and will be with them for a fourth season this summer.
