The saying “broken children become broken adults” highlights the lasting effect of early childhood experiences.
What happens in a child’s formative years shapes their future, often determining their emotional wellbeing, mental health, relationships, and even physical health. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) – such as living with a mentally ill caregiver, witnessing domestic violence, experiencing parental separation, or enduring abuse – leave deep scars on a child’s development.
Children who act out are often misunderstood. While their disruptive behavior may seem like defiance, it often masks deeper emotional struggles. Beneath the tough exterior is usually a fragile, hurt child who doesn’t know how to express their pain. These behaviors are cries for help, not signs of malice.
Unfortunately, when adults respond with anger or punishment, the child feels even more isolated, reinforcing their belief that no one understands or cares for them.
This miscommunication perpetuates a cycle of acting out, as the child seeks validation or attention. Instead of reacting with frustration, adults should ask: What is the child really saying? What does the child need?
Taking the time to understand a child’s distress can make all the difference in addressing the root cause of their behavior.
Growing up in a household marked by violence, addiction, mental illness, or parental incarceration can severely damage a child’s emotional and psychological development. Experiences of abuse – whether emotional, physical, or sexual – create additional layers of mistrust, low self-esteem, and relational challenges. Socioeconomic hardship, racial discrimination, and the loss of a parent add to a child’s trauma, further destabilizing their sense of security.
Scientific studies confirm that early adversity disrupts the developing brain. The toxic stress caused by chronic trauma can lead to lifelong mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Physical health issues, such as heart disease, are also linked to these early experiences. The more ACEs a child is exposed to, the higher their risk for negative outcomes as they enter adulthood.
However, these risks can be mitigated through early intervention. Supportive relationships with caring adults are essential for a child’s healthy development. When children feel safe and valued, their brains can shift from survival mode to growth and learning. A nurturing adult can provide the stability and emotional support necessary for a child to heal and thrive.
The responsibility of protecting children doesn’t just rest with parents or caregivers. Communities play a crucial role in ensuring the wellbeing of children. Intervening when witnessing signs of abuse, offering help to struggling families, and fostering supportive environments are ways society can contribute to safeguarding vulnerable children.
If communities neglect this responsibility, the cycle of trauma continues. Broken children often grow into broken adults who struggle to provide stable, nurturing environments for their own children, perpetuating the cycle of pain across generations.
The proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” rings true. Every child deserves to have trusted adults in their life, be they parents, family members, teachers, or neighbors. By stepping up to support families and children, communities can break the cycle of adversity, ensuring future generations are healthier, more resilient, and emotionally secure.
In protecting children today, we safeguard our future. A society that prioritizes the emotional and physical wellbeing of its children is investing in a brighter, healthier tomorrow. I was borne of godly parents and am grateful for the upbringing that I have come to appreciate. It is my prayer that we keep improving in our way of life so that we can grow a stronger, healthier, and more loving lāhui.
